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O Christmas

Go figure, I wrote a really nice, well worded, LONG post… and my blog deleted it. Let’s see if I can remember everything I wrote!

I decided that I need to just put my self pity and negative feelings behind me. Why should I worry about my importance to other people? I should only be concerned with my family and with doing my best to improve myself and help others.

This is not the season for being sad, or mad, or hurt – it’s time to focus on my family and what I can do for them, and what I can teach them.

Instead of focusing on perceived slights, I am trying to instead take pride in the things I have accomplished this year, and stop worrying about the things that I feel like I have lost or made a mistake on.

So yesterday I designed the stuffed animals I am sewing for the kids’ gifts – nobody say anything to them, but B gets an owl, W gets a puppy, and L gets a kitty, all made from the coziest fleece in their favorite colors. I just need to find my box of buttons for the center of the eyes! I’ll probably sew them after class today, and then start wrapping all my presents.

I just wish my husband’s present hadn’t disappeared… I had started knitting him a very soft and cozy scarf that matches the hat I knitted him last year. Go figure, I can’t find it ANYWHERE. I even checked the lost and found at church in case I had left it there when I was working on it 2 weeks ago – no luck. So now I have to think of a new gift for him. It needs to be something I can make, from things I already have here at home (it looks like my reimbursement paperwork for November got lost in the mail, I’m probably not getting paid until after Christmas).

He always tells me to not worry about getting him anything, and to focus on the kids. Well, I did that this year, and the kids are getting plenty of gifts. I am in no danger of upsetting them (even if none of the gifts are vastly expensive, they will all bring smiles). I just don’t want him to feel disappointed on Christmas morning when everyone has a present but him. So I need to think of something I can do to convey my appreciation for all the little sacrifices he makes to help keep this family going.

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